Have you ever heard somebody use the expression, “He (or she) has a one track mind?” While this may seem like an oversimplification to some, the idea of establishing which type of relationship you would like to have with another person, from the get go, is essential to its overall success. All too often, one person feels one way, while the other feels the opposite way. Ideally, both interested members would have the same dating goals in mind (being either longevity or immediate fun only).
It is so important to be honest with yourself and with your potential partner from day one. If you are dying for a long term committed relationship, say so! If not, do not be ashamed or embarrassed about your free spirited delve into the dating world. Own it and be proud of the fact that you know what you want!
The problems that occur within a relationship can often be linked back to the initial communication you shared with one another. This is why you must be unswervingly truthful from the very beginning, both to yourself and to your partner. While people’s expectations and philosophies can change over time, usually it is only a slight change, not a complete 180 degree flip.
So, if your date is telling you that they are seeking a person who wants cohabitation, marriage and/or kids and you are just out for a good time, that is ok, as long as you both are open about your anticipations. That being said, it is unfair to both of you if you compromise your own beliefs and desires. This can get rather messy in the future.
If you suspect that your date is not being completely honest about what they want, here are a few ways to tell if you are either on the booty call track or the long term relationship track.
|Scenarios||Booty Call Track||Relationship Track|
|You eat together before becoming physically intimate.||X|
|You eat after becoming intimate (or during a break in the action).||X|
|They call you days ahead of time for a scheduled date.||X
|You get a text or sext around the time of last call.||X|
|They invite you to their favorite pub (with people they know).||X
|You meet at a place they’ve never frequented before.||X|
|They give you a gift or offer to pay for something.||X
|They arrive empty handed and you buy your own meal/drinks/admission.||X|
|You are praised for your accomplishments and achievements.||X
|You are complimented only on your appearance.||X|
The bottom line is to stay true to what you want, whether it is a one night stand or a life partner, or something in between the two. There are so many different types of relationships out there and it is up to you to decide what is right for you in your life. It is your prerogative to either hit it and quit it or go for the gold (ring).