Take Charge of Your Relationships

Take Charge of Your Relationships

Everyone knows that old saying, “you are own worst enemy” and that saying is often most true when it comes to navigating your love life and relationships. Many of us have been guilty of indulging in behaviors that prevent us from nurturing a healthy relationship.

Start by taking an honest look at your relationships past and present. What are the patterns that begin to emerge? Are you the type of person who rushes headlong into a relationship with people you don’t know well or are you more likely to keep your distance and close down at the first sign of someone reaching out for serious commitment? Such honest self-reflection can be painful, but it is a necessary first step when you decide to stop sabotaging your love life.

Revise the List—We all have a list of desirable traits that we look for in a partner, but don’t get so focused on the checklist that you fail to see the person in front of you. By revising your list so that it focuses on values and character traits rather than physical appearance, you will increase your chances of meeting someone who is a strong partner in life and not just a pretty decoration. It is okay and even important to be honest with yourself about what you find attractive. Just don’t let that be your be your main requirement.

Know When to Hold ‘Em—Even in the happiest of relationships, not every moment will be pure bliss and full of romance. But if your partner provides you with the affection and validation that you need, then you should learn how to be content even if they don’t make you weak in the knees each and every time they walk through the door.

Know When to Fold ‘Em—Don’t stay in a relationship that simply isn’t working because you feel that being with the wrong person is better than being on your own. If you spend your energy chasing after a partner who simply isn’t right for you, then put yourself in situations where you can meet someone else.

Put Your Game Face On—Loneliness can be excruciatingly painful. You need to be on guard when reaching out that you aren’t acting with desperation and against your own best interest. Even when you feel like hiding in wait for the perfect someone, you need to put on your best game face and get on with enjoying your life. The world will not come to you. The truth is that you need to open the door and walk out of your loneliness and into the world. Focus on meeting new people in interesting situations. Whether you volunteer for a cause that you care about or join a club, getting out in the world will put you in a position to meet new friends and potential partners.

Having a companion to share your life with is an important part of the human experience, and can be one of the most difficult to manage. By taking an honest look at your needs and expectations, you will be in a better position to know what you bring to the relationship. Remember, a relationship is very rarely, if ever, a one-way street. It’s not enough to find a strong partner, but you need to become one too.

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